I hate dreams, .... I hate hearing other people's dreams, ... and I live with a woman who loves to tell me her dreams first thing in the morning, go figure! (She loves morning sex as well, which I'm also not a huge fan of, but hey I'm coming around to that). But back to the topic at hand, I hate dreaming.

Most people go to sleep hoping for good dreams. I go to sleep hoping to not dream. My dreams are rarely satisfying, even the good ones. Last night's was particularly emblematic of this point. I dreamt a great dream about friendship (thanks Pup, for fodder for that!) In my dream I was hanging out with my dear friend D, we were listening to great music, getting ready to go out dancing as we used to do, laughing and enjoying each other's company with innenduos and jabs that only real friends who care about one another deeply can make so freely. It felt so nice to be in his company, seeing the sparkle in his eye as he teased me and made me laugh.

And then I woke to my alarm, to the gentle sound of "bubbles" on my iphone (oh that's a whole other story, of how I was suckered into that purchase!). And it was awful, it was devastating, for D has died, gone from this world 5 years now, and I rememered how wonderful he was, and how much I missed him. I had that pang of recongition, "oh, it was a dream" and I rolled over and dozed off, back to sleep. An hour and a half later I woke with a start from a deep sleep, in the middle of a dream again. I can't remember one detail of it now. Something else about friendship and loss and love and well..... welcome Autumn, eh?

So, in this crazy, chaotic international crash of the markets don't forget that real loss is not in things. Somehow, I find that oddly comforting, call me crazy. This song popped up today, and it speaks to what's going on with me on a lot of different levels. I heard about this band over on a great Chicago blog, The Leather Canary. So, let me introduce you to Blitzen Trapper, (if you haven't heard) they're cool, xoxox

Edit: (Alright, so I didn't want you to get a wrong taste for what Blitzen Trapper is about, so I've included another song for ya, enjoy Sleeptime In The Western World too!)

Edit2: (Ok, so I'm changing the track below. I inadvertently gave you the same track as my friend over at The Leather Canary, ooops!)

Not Your Lover mp3 Blitzen Trapper Furr
Fire & Fast Bullets mp3 Blitzen Trapper Furr
buy their music on their MySpace page

photo credit: patrick dentler

Do you still listen to the music you loved in high school? Lately, I'm beginning to feel that the worse the news gets, the more us 30 and 40 somethings retreat into our past, into the music we cut our teeth on during the last great economic downturn.

Every semi serious music lover experiences changes in their musical taste as they become exposed to more and different kinds of genres. Part of blogging about music, for me, is looking back on how I received new music at different points in my life and comparing those memories to how I listen now. A great post over on Pretending Life Is Like A Song has me reminiscing and analyzing my transition from guitar-driven rock and roll to Punk and New Wave music in the early 80s. Adam unravels the meaning of "Alison" by Elvis Costello in both an academic and quite personal way -- this is great blogging folks, check it out.

And yes, Elvis Costello was pivotal for my transition. Other groups of the time also opened my eyes to a less regional sound (southern USA, "hard rock" bands like Lynyrd Skynyrd, The Outlaws, The Allman Brothers, Molly Hatchet and Tom Petty dominated the airwaves where I lived. I took that to simply be what rock music was, not knowing how much more there could be). Soon, like everyone my age, I was lapping up everything the UK could offer me and American bands were evolving as well. But Elvis Costello--he was first.

This transition morphed into a very important social marker in highschool. There were three crowds to fit into: The Jocks/Preps, The Nerds/Geeks, and The Stoners. As you might guess they were closely aligned with social class, identified by the kind of clothes you wore, and the grades you earned. Until Punk and New Wave music hit, I had firmly been a member of The Stoner crowd. We liked our Southern Rock just fine, and threw it back with a hefty shot of Jack Daniels, a Budweiser chaser and some imported Colombian you-know-what. Football games were spent under the bleachers, Saturday nights saw us huddled around a blanket on the beach getting high to the sounds of a car radio.

Then the 80s hit and I began to find a niche academically. New Wave and Punk music had a cache that tore me out of my stupor, the lyrics were witty and meaningful. Reagan and Thatcher were gutting the working class, the mentally ill, and the children while the upper classes' wealth grew. My teenage angst was in high gear. I knew I'd never be "cool" but I might as well enjoy pretensions of Continentalism now if I were to ever escape my little beach town. I dreamed of college, Socialism, travel, love- all things that my Stoner friends hated with justifiable class resentment. But academics might be a way out, I reckoned and indeed, I was one of the lucky few who did make it. Music propelled me to aspire to larger things, it still does.

So the first major transition occurred. Another big one would happen about 10 years later, but that's another post....

Goodbye Stranger Supertramp Breakfast In America, buy it
Kid The Pretenders Singles, buy it
Is She Really Going Out With Him Joe Jackson, Classic Joe Jackson, buy it
Cockney Kids Are Innocent Sham 69 The Punk Singles Collection 1977-80, buy it

There's some great new music by Trapt coming out. I've been a fan of Trapt for a while now, it's a sound that combines terrific melodies with a good old fashioned head-banging beat and yet doesn't quite drive my lover mad like NIN or Puscifier or Cold does. And the words mean something, full of angst and well just plain old heartbreak, yeah I'm a sucker for that. Plus, it's not the kind of death-dirge sound of Metallica and other bands in that genre that makes me want to take a knife to my tender bits.

The single off their new album, Only Through the Pain, titled "Curiosity Kills" is the best one I've heard so far. And the lyrics made me think of another great song by my favorite all time artist Amy Ray. No, the songs have nothing in common musically. Amy has roots in punk/folk/country music and her solo efforts are in no way comparable to the hard-hitting output of a band like Trapt. But when Amy is cut loose from the Indigo Girls (no offense meant to Emily Sailers of course!) she gets to let go a bit, stretch the lyrics and turn up the amp and well, kinda butch the whole thing up some. And this song, Rural Faggot does that. It's all about how what you don't know will break your heart. But sometimes there's folks along the way to help. And yeah, it's full of angst and pain and that rawness that comes from being different in a world where being the same as everyone else is what matters.

Yeah I know, a corny ending, but hey, it's a beautiful summer Sunday afternoon here!

Trapt: from Only Through the Pain (due out soon), Curiosity Kills mp3
their website

Amy Ray: from Prom Rural Faggot mp3
her website buy it there

photo credit to Freelance Dreamer