The new Pretenders' album is o.k. I like a few songs very much. I like the whole of it a little. It just might grow on me, so I'll reserve any scathing reviews or disappointments for a month or so from now when I'm settled into it. For now it's just fine. I have three or four tracks that I really like and I think the rest will be good soon. Does this happen to you? I really need a month or so to digest a new album by someone whose work I know and love.

My favorite track, by far is "Almost Perfect." It's frankly, well... er, almost perfect! Chrissie Hynde's voice is spectacularly melodic, soulful, emotive and wistful. Like Amy Ray on "She's Got To Be," you desperately want her to sing this song to you. The musical accompaniment is simple, it's all about the vocals. And I love songs like that. I also love songs that are all about guitars or all about the tense interplay between rhythm and bass, but there's something about a woman's voice that makes me go all gooey in the right places. What can I say? And a song like this that pushes that voice out there in front, that presents it to you like the way a good dancer presents his partner to the audience, is a beautiful thing to me. It's funny how gendered I think of life, of music despite my best intentions.

But... there's something bothering me beyond all that about this almost perfect song. This song is most decidedly not perfect. Two thirds of the way through Chrissie Hynde clears her throat. (It's a the 3:26 mark if you care to confirm.)

Why did they leave that in the final cut? Is that some sort of joke on the theme of the song? Some sort of nod to the imperfection of it? I know I should overlook it or celebrate the humanity of it or some such nonsense but honestly, it bugs the shit outta me! I realize she made this record in 10 days (foolish woman) but could she seriously not take the time and money to do another take? Tell me why this is acceptable in these days of digital recording. Tell me why this shouldn't matter in this song. Is it irony? Am I, as usual, over thinking the thing? Oh someone, put me out of my misery!

I must say, it's difficult to continue to suffer from a song with the lyrics... "paranoia drug addicted pornographically afflicted ... sleep with me..." If that's not Tart-able, I don't know what is.

Let's take comfort together in my next favorite track, "You Didn't Have To" which is just a lovely, and totally, Pretender-ish love song. The country twanginess of it is complimentary to her slip-sliding vocals. The steady rhythm lets her wander in such a sweet way over the words and notes to tell us how this one let her be just that free. I love that about this song. And in lust and love, I often do feel that kind of gratitude.

Almost Perfect mp3 The Pretenders Break Up The Concrete
You Didn't Have To mp3 The Pretenders Break Up the Concrete
(don't worry, there's more rockin' tracks on the album, I only picked the slow ones)
buy it

go with The Smiths. I'm up late too many nights wondering where my life is going, spending days doing useless things, and consoling myself that my mp3 hording, ... er hoarding, (edit: had to keep that typo in, it was toooo funny to hide! I mean, can you imagine a horde of mp3's coming your way? ha ha ha) is oh so much better than a drinking habit! So, at this point, being completely uninspired and uninterested in anything, I'm cocooning back into my warm and fuzzy hole with Morrissey and a rather odd song, lyrically. The closing track on The Queen Is Dead, features Marr's gorgeous guitar, layered over what can most generously be described as ridiculous lyrics.

From the ice-age to the dole-age
There is but one concern
I have just discovered :

Some girls are bigger than others
Some girls are bigger than others
Some girls mothers are bigger than
Other girls mothers

Some girls are bigger than others
Some girls are bigger than others
Some girls mothers are bigger than
Other girls mothers

As anthony said to cleopatra
As he opened a crate of ale :

Oh, I say :
Some girls are bigger than others
Some girls are bigger than others
Some girls mothers are bigger than
Other girls mothers

Some girls are bigger than others
Some girls are bigger than others
Some girls mothers are bigger than
Other girls mothers

Send me the pillow ...
The one that you dream on ...
Send me the pillow ...
The one that you dream on ...
And Ill send you mine

By far, the most interesting interpretation of this song is from a website, which describes:

THE DIANA-MORRISSEY PHENOMENON

August 31, 1978:
19 year-old Steven Morrissey first meets guitarist Johnny Marr,
the one who will launch Morrissey's career several years later
by aggressively enlisting him to co-found a band: The Smiths.

August 31, 1997:
19 years to-the-day since Morrissey met guitarist Johnny Marr,
Princess Diana is killed under circumstances foreshadowed
in Morrissey's work, beginning with an album by The Smiths.

This same site takes a kind of Nostradamus take on Morrissey's career, mining his work for prophesy of Diana's death, finding similarities in album artwork, song lyrics; almost everything is fair game when it comes to predicting the tragic end of the beloved Princess. I found it creepy but also hugely entertaining, go see for yourself!

Now, what I take away from this conspiracy collection is that perhaps this song isn't about fat girls at all, as most other commentators have mused. I like his point that "big" can mean "famous" and having great social importance. And that folks, is indeed a new and refreshing point of view on these goofy lyrics, regardless of it's muddled source!

So, even though I've been burning the candle at both ends to stoke my self-inflicted misery, I'm finding insight in the oddest crevices of the nets! HA! Take that Rolling Stone!

Some Girls Are Bigger Than Others mp3 The Smiths: The Queen Is Dead

The dreamy verse at the end, sung so oddly is beautiful and sweet, a fitting end to this perfect album. If you must buy only one Smiths album (and for the love of all that is right in the world, buy two!) then let it be The Queen Is Dead.